Connection Central

By Justin Pinkerman

Distraught over massive financial losses incurred during the past year, Adolf Merckle scrawled a suicide note to his family and wandered out the door into a dark, wintry night. He made his way for the railway where he stood by the tracks and waited in the cold. Spotting the headlight of an oncoming railcar, he threw himself under the train and took leave of this world.

As tragic as the suicide was, it would not have received worldwide press apart from one shocking fact: Adolf Merckle was valued at 9.2 billion dollars, ranking 94th on Forbes 2008 list of the world’s richest persons.

It can be hard to fathom the extent of Mr. Merckle’s wealth, a billion dollars being such a staggering sum. Think of it this way, 9,000 people could each win a million dollars in the lottery, pool their money together, and still have less money than Mr. Merckle was worth. Or, the entire nation of Haiti (8.5 million people) could work for two and a half years without accumulating income equal to Mr. Merckle’s portfolio.

A family statement, issued after Mr. Merckle’s untimely death, read as follows: "The desperate situation of his companies, caused by the financial crisis, the uncertainties of the last few weeks and his powerlessness to act, broke the passionate family entrepreneur and he took his own life." Surely Mr. Merckle’s financial missteps and poor investment decisions must have been painful to stomach. Watching his business empire suffer had to have been difficult for a man of his status. Even so, Mr. Merckle had billions of dollars to his name. It’s astonishing to consider the monumental loss of perspective that led the German billionaire to take his own life.

As evidenced by the tragic case of Adolf Merckle, even the most prosperous individual is not immune to a descent into despair. With corporations cutting payrolls and the stock market on the downswing, many leaders face worrisome bottom lines, dwindling investment portfolios, or even unemployment. Many find themselves in the fight of their lives, struggling daily to gain a healthy perspective.

Two Pointers to Keep Perspective When Problems Persist

1) Gratitude

Leaders enter dangerous territory when they neglect to be grateful for what they have, and instead begin to fear losing what they’ve accumulated. The blessings of life surround everyone, but the person is rare who allows its simple benefits of life to fill his or her soul. Yet, the choice presents itself to anyone: accentuate the positives or dwell on the negatives.

Choosing to be grateful earns the greatest return in times of trouble. It’s virtually impossible to be overtaken by worry when a person has a heart of gratitude. For this reason, it pays to log a gratitude journal - each day, list three things in life for which you’re thankful. Don’t just jot them down; roll them over in your mind. Let them sink into your spirit. Chances are, the exercise will dramatically improve your perspective.

2) Selective Hearing

For leaders, denial isn’t an option. Bad news is preferable to no news in that information conveys important knowledge about the current reality. The wise stay apprised of the economic outlook and make decisions based upon incoming data. At times those decisions can be painful such as instituting a spending freeze or terminating the employment of a devoted worker. Nonetheless, leaders shoulder the load and do what must be done to move forward.

While leaders refuse to put their heads in the sand, they do have the wherewithal to unplug from negativity. At a certain point, a glut of the same dreary news damages the psyche. Leaders confront reality, but they stop short of wallowing in worry and despondence. They avoid doomsdayers and naysayers, preferring to fill their minds with hope and opportunity.

The Final Words: Press On

Hiking up a mountain summit for sunrise can seem unreasonably hard in the beginning. The steep trail causes your legs to quiver, the altitude shortens your breath, and rocks and snares threaten to trip your step. For a time, you may be tempted to quit. However, if you persevere to the top, you’re greeted with the grandeur of the golden sky, and rewarded with a breathtaking perspective on the beauty of nature.

Like a mountaineer, you may be enduring a rocky, uphill stretch. If so, keep fighting to gain perspective. Hard work and persistence seldom go unrewarded, and they often carry you to a glorious destination.

Ruth went to her mail box and there was only one letter. She picked it up and looked at it before opening, but then she looked at the envelope again. There was no stamp - no postmark - only her name and address. She read the letter:

Dear Ruth:
I`m going to be in your neighborhood Saturday afternoon and I'd like to stop by for a visit.
Love Always,
Jesus

Her hands were shaking as she placed the letter on the table. 'Why would the Lord want to visit me? I'm nobody special. I don't have anything to offer...' With that thought, Ruth remembered her empty kitchen cabinets.

‘Oh my goodness, I really don't have anything to offer. I'll have to run down to the store and buy something for dinner.' She reached for her purse and counted out its contents. Five dollars and forty cents. Well, I can get some bread and cold cuts, at least...' She threw on her coat and hurried out the door.

A loaf of French bread, a half-pound of sliced turkey, and a carton of milk...leaving Ruth with grand total twelve cents to last her until Monday.. Nonetheless, she felt good as she headed home, her meager offerings tucked under her arm.

'Hey lady, can you help us, lady?'

Ruth had been so absorbed in her dinner plans, she hadn't even noticed two figures huddled in the alleyway. A man and a woman, both of them dressed in little more than rags.

'Look lady, I ain't got a job, you know, and my wife and I have been living out here on the street, and, well, now it's getting cold and we're getting kinda hungry and, well, if you could help us. Lady, we'd really appreciate it.'

Ruth looked at them both. They were dirty, they smelled bad and frankly, she was certain that they could get some kind of work if they really wanted to.

'Sir, I'd like to help you, but I'm a poor woman myself. All I have is a few cold cuts and some bread, and I'm having an important guest for dinner tonight and I was planning on serving that to Him.'

'Yeah, well, okay lady, I understand. Thanks anyway.'

The man put his arm around the woman's shoulders, turned and headed back into the alley. As she watched them leave, Ruth felt a familiar twinge in her heart.

'Sir, wait!'

The couple stopped and turned as she ran down the alley after them.

'Look, why don't you take this food. I'll figure out something else to serve my guest.'

She handed the man her grocery bag.

'Thank you, lady. Thank you very much!'

'Yes, thank you!' It was the man's wife, and Ruth could see now that she was shivering.

'You know, I've got another coat at home. Here, why don't you take this one.'

Ruth unbuttoned her jacket and slipped it over the woman's shoulders. Then smiling, she turned and walked back to the street...without her coat and with nothing to serve her guest.

'Thank you, lady! Thank you very much!'

Ruth was chilled by the time she reached her front door, and worried too. The Lord was coming to visit and she didn't have anything to offer Him. She fumbled through her purse for the door key. But as she did, she noticed another envelope in her mailbox.

'That's odd. The mailman doesn't usually come twice in one day.'

Dear Ruth:
It was so good to see you again. Thank you for the lovely meal. And
thank you, too, for the beautiful coat.
Love Always,
Jesus

The air was still cold, but even without her coat, Ruth no longer noticed.



Perspective
"What we see depends mainly on what we look for."
~ John Lubbock

"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts."
~ Alfred Einstein

"If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years how man would marvel and adore."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"It is not the man who has little, but he who desires more, that is poor."
~ Seneca

by Dr. John C. Maxwell

In the comic strip, Peanuts, a hapless Charlie Brown occasionally would be stalked by ominous rainclouds. Although the rest of the sky would shine bright and blue, poor Chuck would be stuck under a dark cloud, getting doused by its showers. While his friends and neighbors enjoyed the beauty of the day, a drenched Charlie Brown would be a scowling onlooker.

The lingering raincloud seemed to suggest Charlie Brown's inability to break clear from his problems. A melancholy character, he was prone to fits of worry and self-doubt. He concocted problems where none existed and fretted about those which were real.

While we do not have to contend with perpetual drizzle like Charlie Brown, many of us live under the gloomy shadow of self-induced rainclouds. When life's twists and turns work against us, we retreat into a rotten attitude or heap blame on our surroundings. By doing so, we neglect to deal with our problems and only add to our misery.

The Five Truths Leaders Understand about Problems

1. They're unavoidable.

For the aspiring leader, problems may be the most faithful companions of all. The road to success is seldom paved smoothly, and is oftentimes under construction. Potholes and barricades abound. At every bend in the journey, a leader's vision must peer around obstacles and through formidable walls to foresee a positive future. Leaders who sidestep problems stunt their growth - they end up shallow and debilitated. The successful leader stares down problems and resourcefully addresses them.

2. Perspective on the problem, rather than the problem itself, determines success or failure.

We see problems, not as they are, but as we are. That's why attitude plays such a crucial role in separating those who lead from those who follow. Alfred Armand Montapert said, "The majority see the obstacles; the few see the objectives; history records the successes of the latter, while oblivion is the reward of the former." Leaders look at problems from a healthy, self-confident vantage point.

3. There's a big difference between problem spotting and problem solving.

Anyone, even the fairly imperceptive, can identify problems, but few people have the initiative to tackle them. As novelist John Galsworthy observed, "Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem." As rule, don't voice complaint about a problem until you're:
1) able to put forth a recommendation for solving it, and
2) willing to take an action to solve it.

4. The size of the person is more important than the size of the problem.

You can tell the caliber of a person by the amount of opposition it takes to discourage him or her. Joke writer Robert Orben says that he once saw an ad from an entertainer that read, "Lion tamer - wants tamer lion." Clearly, this performer wasn't looking for greatness but merely for something manageable. To lead at the highest level requires wrestling with problems seemingly beyond our ability to apprehend.

5. Problems, responded to correctly, can propel us forward.

Leaders are not discovered in the limelight; rather they are forged in the darkness under heat and pressure. Leaders gain respect on difficult terrain, after taking a few blows and being shaped by the problems they encounter. As a matter of fact, courage and valor go undetected until seen through the lens of adversity.

John C. Maxwell is an internationally recognized leadership expert, speaker, and author who has sold over 16 million books. His organizations have trained more than 2 million leaders worldwide. Dr. Maxwell is the founder of EQUIP and INJOY Stewardship Services. Every year he speaks to Fortune 500 companies, international government leaders, and audiences as diverse as the United States Military Academy at West Point, the National Football League, and ambassadors at the United Nations. A New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Business Week best-selling author, Maxwell was named the World's Top Leadership Guru by Leadershipgurus.net. He was also one of only 25 authors and artists named to Amazon.com's 10th Anniversary Hall of Fame. Three of his books, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, Developing the Leader Within You, and The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader have each sold over a million copies.

Encouragement takes place when your love as a leader meets one of your group member's fears. Everyone has fears or disappointments or confusion about life. When we show others that we truly love them in the midst of their pain, we are providing encouragement. Proverbs 18:21 tells us that death and life are in the power of the tongue. Encouraging words bring life; shaming or harsh words bring death. Your job as a leader is to bring wods of life to people who are feeling the sting of death emotionally. Listen to the instructions of Paul in Ephesians 4:29: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Encouragement is a community builder.

Tips for Becoming an Encouraging Small Group Leader

1. Be slow to speak (Proverbs 12:18; 13:3; James 1:19). A great way to encourage members is to listen to their stories with attentiveness and caring. Do not try to fix things quickly or give glib, pat answers to their problems or issues. Simply listen.

2. Exercise sensitivity. The Bible reminds us that our speech should be seasoned with salt. Our words should be filled with grace (Ephesians 4:29) and should mimic those of Jesus who came in grace and truth (John 1:14).

3. Show kindness when you speak. Words of gentleness are soothing and tender. Truth does not always have to be delivered from a rifle barrel. Truth spoken gently is more readily heard and more easily obeyed.

Pitfalls to Avoid When Trying to Be an Encourager

1. Defensiveness. Don't try to justify yourself. Simply listen to what others are saying and try to clarify what is being said.

2. Sarcasm and criticism. Sometimes humor gets out of hand. Remember that people are easily injured with words. (Proverbs 15:4)

3. Correction. Don't tell people that their feelings are wrong or inaccurate or say to someone, "You shouldn't feel that way." The point is, they do feel that way, and you need to listen carefully to determined why they have the feelings they are experiencing.

4. Advice-giving. Avoid giving answers before having really investigated the questions. Advice-giving can be patronizing and can shut down communication. Quick advice often ignores the real problem.

Real encouragement requires active listening. It means fully engaging with another person and participating in their pain and frustration. As you listen carefully, you will be able to bring words of encouragement and comfort and hope to people in your group.

Adapted from "The Willow Creek Guide to Leading Life-Changing Small Groups" by Bill Donahue. Copyright 1996 by the Willow Creek Association.

A Resolution Worth Keeping
by Jon Walker

For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. 1 Corinthians 2:2 (NIV)

*** *** *** ***

How are you doing with your New Year’s resolutions? You remember that list you made with optimistic enthusiasm but unrealistic expectations.

One of my friends started making New Year’s resolutions like, “I won’t lose ten pounds this year,” and “I commit to watching the Super Bowl this year.”

I suspect Paul only had one resolution on his list: “This year I resolve to know nothing but Christ and him crucified” (1 Corinthians 2:2).

Paul’s message is radically simple: Salvation is in Christ alone. What does this mean?

It’s not Christ plus your good behavior.

It’s not Christ plus the number of Bible verses you memorize.

It’s not Christ plus your tithe or the church you attend.

It’s not Christ plus wisdom from the latest Christian seminar.

It’s simply Christ plus nothing. Christ and Christ alone.

© 2009 Purpose Driven Life. All rights reserved.

Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., one of America's largest and best-known churches. In addition, Rick is author of the New York Times bestseller The Purpose Driven Life and The Purpose Driven Church, which was named one of the 100 Christian books that changed the 20th Century. He is also founder of Pastors.com, a global Internet community for ministers.

I'm Not Who I Was by Brandon Heath