Connection Central

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 44 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:"

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone..
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15.. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful..
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".
26. Always choose life.
27. Forgive everyone everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business.
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31. Don't take yourself so seriously.. No one else does.
32. Believe in miracles.
33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
34. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
35. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd
grab ours back.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
41. The best is yet to come.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
43. Yield.
44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

It is ironic that Christmas is often the time we as pastors find ourselves least centered on Jesus. With the emergence of social media and new technologies, this problem has reached new proportions.

The following is an adaption of my top 10 lessons for leadership applied to this Advent season.

1. Be yourself.

   You and I are uniquely crafted by God to lead. That means we cannot do what others can. You may be able to do more or less. The great challenge of leadership is to calmly differentiate your “true self” from the demands and voices around you. Discern the desires, vision, pace, and mission the Father has given as you lead. Take off Saul’s armor. How much activity can you sustain without losing your soul? And remember, “to live unfaithfully to yourself is to cause others great damage” (Rumi).

2. Your first work is to be contemplative before God (to be with him).

   Our goal during this season is to lead people to Jesus and help them center on him. But you cannot bring people where you have not gone in God. We are not CEOs or even preachers first. We are called to be contemplatives first (Psalm 27:4). Above all else, cultivate a pure heart before God, loving him.
   
   I like what Thomas Merton once wrote: “Untie my hands and deliver me from sloth. Set me free from the laziness that goes about disguised as activity when activity is not demanded of me and from the cowardice that does what is not demanded in order to escape sacrifice.”

3. Practice Sabbath.

   Take a 24-hour period each week to Sabbath – to stop, rest, and contemplate God. You are not God. This essential spiritual formation practice is not something to drop during the celebration of Christ’s coming. I take from 6:00 p.m. Friday to 6:00 p.m. Saturday at a minimum. Large spiritual issues are at stake, especially with regard to trusting God to be in control. Relinquish the ministry to Jesus.

4. Embrace the gift of your limits.

   Remember that “a man can receive only what is given him from heaven” (John 3:27). You will be present to your spouse and children in proportion to what you’ve received from being in God’s presence. It takes time and effort to think through thoughtful gifts with meaning for your family and key leaders. I encourage you to make sure you have the margin in your life to do that.

5. Wait on the Lord.

   This is your life. You will finish the end of your days waiting on the Lord. This is the most important work there is if you are to allow your soul to grow up and be what God wants you to be. Be sure to carve out time for this.

6. Don’t neglect ministry to yourself.

   “Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers” (1 Timothy 4:16).Investing in your development is your first ministry. This includes monthly and quarterly retreats, utilizing the gift of therapy along the way, finding a good spiritual director, and seeking mentors at different stages of the journey. It is the most loving gift you can give your church. What does this mean for Christmas? Take a few moments now to ask God what you need to remain connected to him over the next few weeks.

7. Lead out of your vow of marriage.

   Scripture is clear about marriage between one male and one female as a taste of Christ’s free love for his bride, the church. And central to this marriage vision is the sexual relationship. It is essential, not peripheral, to your spiritual formation and discipleship as a Christ-follower.

8. Live what you preach.

   Good sermons take a lot of time to gestate. If the sermons aren’t changing you, they will not transform anyone else. This is both a joy and an agony if fresh revelation from Scripture is going to come through the unique prism of your life. This never changes, whether you have been preaching for six months or 30 years.

9. All the work of pastoring is holy and sacred.

   It took me 19 years to learn this hard lesson, and I am still learning it. Preparing budgets and job descriptions, hiring, firing, planning a good meeting, handing in reports, confronting conflicts, etc. is every part as holy as prayer and Bible study. Be sure to fight against the sacred/secular split first in your own life and then in the life of the church. Recover a biblical theology of work and spirituality.

10. Things are not as they appear.

    So often what looks like a blessing is not. What looks terrible in the short run is, very often, a rich gift. When you think you are going forward, you may be actually going backwards. What appears as success, oftentimes ends up being a failure and setback. Failures will teach you much more than success every time.

The pressures of Christmas can distract us from what’s most important. I hope these 10 lessons will help you focus on Christ and enjoy this holiday season.

Hey guys,

Great news to announce. You can now access the three teaching videos from the Living In Freedom Everyday (LIFE) series we have been teaching in small groups this semester. I know, it's crazy, but it's true.

Pastor Kent recorded three lessons which introduce each significant section of the 12 week teaching. Here's how to access them:

http://wordalive.org/LIFE%20Videos.html

It's that simple. A special note to all of you who are hosting this L.I.F.E. curriculum in your small group: Please encourage those who have not been able to make every lesson to review these three teachings together with the workbook. Then let them know you expect them to attend our LIFE Retreat weekend. This Retreat Weekend is an opportunity to receive ministry to enter into a new level of FREEDOM as a vessel of honor for use in the Kingdom. The cost is $15 per attendee. The date is January 15 and 16 - Friday evening and Saturday from 9am to 4pm.

You have to register to attend, so get the info from your groups as to who can attend and notify me at bill@wordalive.org .

I encourage the rest of you to preview these teachings and plan to join a LIFE small group during the Spring or Fall Season of LIFE Groups 2010.

Be blessed!

Hey Guys and Dolls,

As we come close to bringing this Fall Season of LIFE groups to a close, I thought it would be good to reflect on friendships. God has given us the wonder-filled opportunity to share friendship with Him and with a few of His favorites. You have had these few months to perhaps enter into one of the great mysteries of life. Friendship. I hope you all find the relationships that will challenge and reward you as we walk together through LIFE. Be blessed!

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. Oren Arnold

Friendship is the source of the greatest pleasures, and without friends even the most agreeable pursuits become tedious. St. Thomas Aquinas 1225-1274, Italian Scholastic Philosopher and Theologian

We are never more discontented with others than when we are discontented with ourselves. Henri Frederic Amiel

For believe me, in this world which is ever slipping from under our feet, it is the prerogative of friendship to grow old with one's friends. Arthur S. Hardy

All things need watching, working at, caring for and marriage is no exception. Marriage is not something to be treated indifferently, or abused or something that simply takes care of itself. Nothing neglected will remain as it was or is, or will fail to deteriorate. All things need attention care and concern and especially so in this most sensitive of all relationships of life. Richard L. Evans

I want relations which are not purely personal, based on purely personal qualities; but relations based upon some unanimous accord in truth or belief, and a harmony of purpose, rather than of personality. I am weary of personality. Let us be easy and impersonal, not forever fingering over our own souls, and the souls of our acquaintances, but trying to create a new life, a new common life, a new complete tree of life from the roots that are within us. D. H. Lawrence 1885-1930, British Author

Kindness and intelligence don't always deliver us from the pitfalls and traps: there are always failures of love, of will, of imagination. There is no way to take the danger out of human relationships. Barbara Grizzuti Harrison 1941-, American Author, Publicist

Kindness and intelligence don't always deliver us from the pitfalls and traps: there are always failures of love, of will, of imagination. There is no way to take the danger out of human relationships.Barbara Grizzuti Harrison 1941-, American Author, Publicist

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay awhile, make footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same. Anonymous

Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead. Chinese Proverb

There is an important difference between love and friendship. While the former delights in extremes and opposites, the latter demands equality. Francoise d'Aubign Maintenon

Cultivating community takes honesty. You will have to care enough to lovingly speak the truth. While it is much easier to remain silent when others around us are harming themselves or others with a sinful pattern, it is not the loving hting to do. Most people have no one in their lives who love them enough to tell them the truth, so they continue in self destructive ways. Many fellowships have been sabotaged by fear: No one had the courage to speak up in the group while a member's life fell apart.
"An honest answer is a sign of true friendship."
"In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery."

Cultivating community takes humility. Self importance, smugness, and stubborn pride destroy fellowship faster than anything else. Pride builds walls between people; humility builds bridges. Pride blocks God's grace in our lives, which we must have inorder to grow, change, heal, and help others.
"Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another...because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

Cultivating community takes courtesy. Courtesy is respecting our differences, being considerate of others feelings, and being patient with people who irritate us. The truth is, we all have quirks and annoying traits. But community has little to do with compatibility. The basis for our fellowship is our relationship to God: We are family.
One key to courtesy is to understand where people are coming from. When you know what someone has been through, you will be more understanding. Another part of courtesy is no downplaying other people's doubts. Just because you don't fear something doesn't make it an invalid feeling. Real community happens when people know it is safe enough to share their doubts and fears without being judged.
"We must bear the burden of being considerate of the doubts and fears of others."
"God's people should be bighearted and courteous."
"Be devoted to each other like a loving family. Excel in showing respect for each other."

If you are new to Word Alive or you've been coming for a while and you've wondered, "How do I get connected, how can I get involved, how can I get to know more people...?" Well, we have the answer to your questions."Connect Four" is the meeting that will help you get the answers you need to connect here at Word Alive.

Sunday, November 8th immediately after the 3rd service Pastors Kent and Bev will share over a delicious meal how Word Alive got started, where we see the Lord is taking us, and the "four" ways that we can connect with what the Lord is doing here.If you would like to attend this meeting please reserve your seat with Nancy Mitchell at Nmitchell@wordalive.org

We look forward to connecting with you!